This is the whole essence of Buddha’s message. Peace is not to be practised: it is a by-product of awareness. Love is not to be practised: it is a by-product of awareness. Righteousness is not to be practised: it is a by-product of awareness.Osho
B vs. The Voices
- B: i no longer write. i express. i no longer read. i search. for now...
- V: and i'm grateful
What My Job Taught Me About Relationships
i will preface this by saying that when i shared the title of this with someone, their reaction was something along the lines of ”work isn’t the same as a relationship” …well someone… you can learn about relationships from observing plants, or swimming, or even watching paint dry sooo yeah… here it goes:
The past: simply doesn’t count. I came to my job with baggage and it (my new job) simply didn’t want to hear it. It’s not that it was a good past or a bad past, it’s that the whole thing was irrelevant. My job respected my past, but it also wanted me to respect it enough to learn it’s ways from the beginning. And that was a crucial part of making this work. No comparisons, no presedence, no expectations. it was worth it to start from the very beginning.
Making it work: making it work requires a lot of work. I dress up for my job, I try to look nice for it, I try my best to give it my all in every way. Dress for success is related to work and to relationships. I don’t want to be in a relationship where i’ve lost the will to look nice or to try to impress. And it’s not just about looks, it’s about effort, even when you don’t have to.
Space: no matter how much I love my job, I can’t explain how important it is to have at least two days off every week where I have my space. I am more than my job and I will be more than my spouse. I am more than any one activity, organization, hobby, interest, religion, or culture that are parts of what makes me me. I need the time for each and I need space. Not forced distance. Just space to grow and to long, and to wander away and linger away and to want to wander right back to where you belong. But space… oh so important.
Love: love is actually pretty easy. Love is commitment and commitment sounded scary to me but I did it. I’m actually in a commitment, and I love it. Of course there’s something “better” out there. But I ain’t lookin’ because I’m happy with what I’ve got. That’s love.
The future: I don’t think I could do better. I don’t. I know I can. But I don’t think of it. Why? I thinkg of how i can make what i have better for both of us. Me and my job. wait that sounds a bit delusional. Okay really delusional. but seriously, love comes with a minimized amount of escapism. improvements don’t come from the outside. there’s always room to improve what you have and what you love.
Habits: Letting go of certain habits might be a big deterrent for a lot of people to continue being together. The feeling that someone might enforce you to do something you don’t want to do. or being scared that you won’t cope with the ways or habits of another. when i first started my job, i thought the idea of staying at work till 5:30pm was insane. I never stayed till 5:30pm. I never leave before 7:30pm. Just. Like. That.
Now off to watch some paint dry so I can learn some more about love and life and love lives.
B
Instant Gratification/ Delayed Gratitude
Speaking of that letter I recieved, even though it literally gave me heart palpitations and dreams of a better world (of people subscribing to ebaaism?) i have actually taken no action to let the sender know how grateful i am for their thoughts and efforts. not just this sender, but most senders in my life. it’s sad i know, but as much crap as i believe about gratitude, i don’t give enough of it. okay, give is the wrong word, i don’t vocalize it. In fact, many of my actions seem to contradict how i feel. for example, this person’s fb friend request is still pending, and i haven’t sent a thank you note for recieving the letter, as far as they know, i got the letter and threw it in the bin.
As far as most people who are on my mind know, they are not on my mind. Literally just thought of the 5 people I think of the most on a daily basis, and realized that 4 of them have no idea they are this important to me. 2 of them might be completely shocked (not in a creepy way ok) to know i think of them at all let alone on a daily basis!
it’s funny because i like instant gratification from people. i want affection and words of affirmation. but i fail at letting people know how i feel. i fail. why my feelings towards others are a mystery remains a mystery to me. well, me thinkgs it’s time to work on this instant gratification/delayed gratitude balance.
B
there is no form of communication more powerful than the hand-written letter. it’s just so human, so personal. i love it. and i’m grateful that i constantly seem to cross paths with people who write me letters! this one is super special though because a) it was completely unexpected and i never mentioned to this person that i like letters b) it was from a random stranger whom i’ve only met once in my life c) i never told this person i was “actually” a princess. because i am. no really.
B
And the sun and the moon sometimes argue over who will tuck me in at night. If you think I am having more fun than anyone on this planet, you are absolutely correct.Hafez
time+rhyme
They were so in love they spoke in rhymes and cooked delicious food with thyme and with time they grew sweeter and neater with time and time again of vitamins to the soul the wall destroyed the bond enjoyed the thyme tasted and they salivated for each other and to each were another one of life’s greatest love stories…left untold except in the folds of my mind but don’t think I mind that. I know you already know that but you’re on my mind always and I don’t know if I’ll tell you always or last time was the last time.
B
Look into your own heart, discover what it is that gives you pain and then refuse, under any circumstance whatsoever, to inflict that pain on anybody else.Karen Armstrong
